Tag Archive for Tax Humor
A little humor with some tax jokes on TaxConnections Tax Blogs.
♦ A “slight tax increase” costs you about $300, while a “substantial tax cut” lowers your taxes by about $30.
♦ There’s a “tax cocktail” on the market – two drinks and you withhold nothing.
♦ The best things in life are still free, but the tax experts are working overtime on the problem.
♦ A doctor, a tax lawyer, a little boy, and a rabbi were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best Read More
A little tax humor with some tax jokes on TaxConnections Tax Blogs.
♦ Q: Who invented copper wire?
A: Two tax attorneys fighting over a penny.
♦ “65% of people say that cheating on your income tax is worse than cheating on your spouse. The other 35% were women.” (Jay Leno)
♦ A certain tax lawyer was quite wealthy and had a summer house in the country, to which he retreated for several weeks of the year. Each summer, the lawyer would invite a different friend of his to spend a week or two up at this place, which happened to be in a backwoods section of Maine. On one particular occasion, he invited a Czech friend to stay Read More
Some of the best tax jokes and tax humor in a series on TaxConnections Tax Blogs.
♦ A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant.
His friend asks, “Didn’t your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?” The businessman replies, “That’s the accountant we’re looking for.”
♦ The stockbroker received notice from the IRS that he was being audited.
He showed up at the appointed time and place with all his financial records, then sat for what seemed like hours as the accountant pored over them.
Finally the IRS agent looked up and commented, “You must have been a tremendous fan Read More
Some of the best tax jokes and tax humor in a series on TaxConnections Tax Blogs.
♦ Q: Ever wonder why the IRS calls it Form 1040?
A: Because for every $50 that you earn, you get $10 and they get $40.
♦ What’s the difference between death and taxes? Congress does not meet every year to make death worse.
♦ “A few years ago it was impossible to get through on the phone to the IRS. Now it is just hard to get through. That is what we call progress.” – Charles Rossotti, former IRS Commissioner Read More
♦ “Yesterday the IRS announced that obese Americans are entitled to certain tax breaks. Apparently, under the new rules, you’re allowed to claim two or more chins as dependents.” —Conan O’Brien
♦ There was a time when you saved up for your old age; now you save up for April 15th.
♦ A taxpayer received a strongly worded “second notice” that his taxes were overdue. Hastening to the collector’s office, he paid his bill, saying apologetically that he had overlooked the first notice.”Oh,” confided the collector with a smile, “we don’t send out first notices. We have found that the second notices are more effective.”
♦ The client went to the tax preparer and said, I filed my taxes electronically to speed Read More
♦ A fool and his money are soon parted. The rest of us wait until income tax time.
♦ Public Accounting is the only profession where you have many engagements going on, yet no one is getting married! – Peter J. Scalise, Practice Leader, Federal Credits & Incentives, Prager Metis CPAs
♦ Did you hear about the cannibal Tax Accountant? She charges an arm and a leg.
♦ An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. “Doctor, I just can’t get to sleep at night.”
“Have you tried counting sheep?” Read More
Each year during tax season I post some of my favorite tax quotes and tax humor on TaxConnections. Enjoy!
♦ “It’s fitting that April 14 is National Pecan Day because today, we recognize nuts. And tomorrow, on April 15, we pay our taxes to support them.” – Craig Ferguson
♦ “Tax day is the day that ordinary Americans send their money to Washington, D.C., and wealthy Americans send their money to the Cayman Islands.” –Jimmy Kimmel
♦ Tax Day… A Procrastinators worst nightmare.
♦ Can I pay more taxes than I owe, because it’s not enough and the politicians can Read More
Each year during tax season I post some of my favorite tax quotes and tax humor on TaxConnections. Enjoy!
♦ A lawyer was reading out the will of a rich man to the people mentioned in the will: “To you, my loving wife Rose, who stood by me in rough times, as well as good, I leave the house and two million.” The lawyer continued, “To my daughter Jessica, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business going, I leave the yacht, the business and one million.” The lawyer concluded, “And, to my cousin Dan, who hated me, argued with me, and thought that I would never mention him in my will well you are wrong. “Hi Dan!”
♦ Isn’t it appropriate that the month when taxes are due begins with April Fool’s Day Read More
Each year during tax season I post some of my favorite tax quotes and tax humor on TaxConnections. Enjoy!
♦ “Today is April 1, April Fools’ Day, a day that people try to fool their friends and relatives. Don’t confuse that with April 15, when people try to fool the IRS.”
♦ April is always a difficult month for Americans — even if your ship comes in, the IRS is right there to help you unload it.
♦ “I’m not going to pay taxes. When they say I’m going to prison, I’ll say no, prisons cost taxpayers a lot of money. You keep what it would have cost to incarcerate me, and we’ll call it even.” – Jimmy Kimmel Read More
Each year during tax season I post some of my favorite tax quotes and tax humor on TaxConnections. Enjoy!
♦ “The U.S. Senate is considering a bill that would tax Botox. When Botox users heard this, they were horrified. Well, I think they were horrified. It’s difficult to tell.” — Craig Ferguson
♦ Public Accounting is the only profession where you have many engagements going on, yet no one is getting married! — Peter J. Scalise, Practice Leader, Federal Credits & Incentives, Prager Metis CPAs
♦ Excellence is a good habit. But do not strive for perfection – it will prevent you from ever finishing anything. – Eva Rosenberg Read More
Each year during tax season I post some of my favorite tax quotes and tax humor on TaxConnections. Enjoy!
♦ Did you hear about the cannibal Tax Accountant? She charges an arm and a leg.
♦ A penny saved is a government oversight.
♦ Making out your own income tax return is something like a do-it-yourself mugging.
♦ A harp is a piano after taxes
♦ A certain tax lawyer was quite wealthy and had a summer house in the country, to which he retreated for several weeks of the year. Each summer, the lawyer would invite a Read More
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