Archive for The Unknown Tax Comic

The Unknown Tax Comic – Part 22

A little humor with some tax jokes on TaxConnections Tax Blogs.

♦ A tax attorney defended a case of tax evasion for an affluent client. He devoted over a year to the case, familiarizing himself with every loophole and angle of current legislation, and made a brilliant argument before the court. His client was called out of town when the jury returned with its verdict, a sweeping victory for his client on every count. Flushed with victory, the lawyer exuberantly sent an email to his client, “Justice has triumphed!” The client immediately emailed back, “Appeal at once!”

♦ “Ignore them and they’ll go away” is great advice for some of life’s annoyances. Unfortunately, it doesn’t apply to taxes. – Martha C. White

♦ I’ll tell you some tax jokes because I think you’d depreciate them! Read More

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Form 1040-R.I.P. – Filing A Return From the Grave

It seems like a good time to “resurrect” this Form 1040-R.I.P. – Filing A Return From the Grave that was submitted by Michael Raanan two years ago on Halloween.  Thank you, Michael for your contribution to TaxConnections Tax Blog with a little IRS Form Tax Humor!

TaxConnections wishes you a Happy Halloween!

BOO!

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The Unknown Tax Comic – Part 21

A little humor with some tax jokes on TaxConnections Tax Blogs.

♦ The best things in life are free – plus tax, of course.

♦ A lot of people still have the first dollar they ever made – Uncle Sam has all the others.

♦ “When it comes to taxes, there are two types of people. There are those that get it done early, also known as psychopaths, and then the rest of us.” –Jimmy Kimmel

♦ An estate & trust lawyer was reading the will of a rich man to the people mentioned in the will: “To you, my loving wife Rose, who stood by me in rough times, as well as good, I leave the house and two million dollars.” The lawyer continued, “To my daughter Jessica, Read More

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The Unknown Tax Comic – Part 20

Tax Jokes

A little humor with some tax jokes on TaxConnections Tax Blogs.

♦ A “slight tax increase” costs you about $300, while a “substantial tax cut” lowers your taxes by about $30.

♦ There’s a “tax cocktail” on the market – two drinks and you withhold nothing.

♦ The best things in life are still free, but the tax experts are working overtime on the problem.

♦ A doctor, a tax lawyer, a little boy, and a rabbi were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best Read More

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The Unknown Tax Comic – Part 19

A little humor with some tax jokes on TaxConnections Tax Blogs.

♦ A man was driving along the road when all of a sudden he has to swerve to avoid a box falling off the truck in front of him. Seconds later a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. As the policeman starting writing the ticket he noticed the box was full of nails and tacks.
“I had to swerve or I would have run over those and blown my tires!” protested the driver.
“Ok”, replied the officer, ripping up the ticket, “but I’m still bringing you in.”
“What for?!” retorted the man.
“Tacks evasion”, answered the policeman. Read More

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The Unknown Tax Comic – Part 18

A little tax humor with some tax jokes on TaxConnections Tax Blogs.

♦ Q: Who invented copper wire?
   A: Two tax attorneys fighting over a penny.

♦ “65% of people say that cheating on your income tax is worse than cheating on your spouse. The other 35% were women.” (Jay Leno)

♦ A certain tax lawyer was quite wealthy and had a summer house in the country, to which he retreated for several weeks of the year. Each summer, the lawyer would invite a different friend of his to spend a week or two up at this place, which happened to be in a backwoods section of Maine. On one particular occasion, he invited a Czech friend to stay Read More

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The Unknown Tax Comic – Part 17

Some of the best tax jokes and tax humor in a series on TaxConnections Tax Blogs.

♦ A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant.

His friend asks, “Didn’t your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?” The businessman replies, “That’s the accountant we’re looking for.”

♦ The stockbroker received notice from the IRS that he was being audited.

He showed up at the appointed time and place with all his financial records, then sat for what seemed like hours as the accountant pored over them.

Finally the IRS agent looked up and commented, “You must have been a tremendous fan Read More

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The Unknown Tax Comic – Part 16

Some of the best tax jokes and tax humor in a series on TaxConnections Tax Blogs.

♦ Q: Ever wonder why the IRS calls it Form 1040?
A: Because for every $50 that you earn, you get $10 and they get $40.

♦ What’s the difference between death and taxes? Congress does not meet every year to make death worse.

♦ “A few years ago it was impossible to get through on the phone to the IRS. Now it is just hard to get through. That is what we call progress.” – Charles Rossotti, former IRS Commissioner Read More

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The Unknown Tax Comic – Part 15

♦ “Yesterday the IRS announced that obese Americans are entitled to certain tax breaks. Apparently, under the new rules, you’re allowed to claim two or more chins as dependents.” —Conan O’Brien

♦ There was a time when you saved up for your old age; now you save up for April 15th.

♦ A taxpayer received a strongly worded “second notice” that his taxes were overdue. Hastening to the collector’s office, he paid his bill, saying apologetically that he had overlooked the first notice.”Oh,” confided the collector with a smile, “we don’t send out first notices. We have found that the second notices are more effective.”

♦ The client went to the tax preparer and said, I filed my taxes electronically to speed Read More

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The Unknown Tax Comic – Part 14

♦ A fool and his money are soon parted. The rest of us wait until income tax time.

♦ Public Accounting is the only profession where you have many engagements going on, yet no one is getting married! – Peter J. Scalise, Practice Leader, Federal Credits & Incentives, Prager Metis CPAs

♦ Did you hear about the cannibal Tax Accountant?  She charges an arm and a leg.

♦ An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. “Doctor, I just can’t get to sleep at night.”

“Have you tried counting sheep?” Read More

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The Unknown Tax Comic – Part 13

♦ The government is really asking a lot of us this month – first we’re supposed to count how many people live in our home, then we’re supposed to count how much money we owe them. I actually got confused and accidentally sent a check to the census and a member of my household to the IRS. Sorry, grandma. (Jimmy Kimmel)

♦ What’s a shy and retiring accountant?
One that’s half-a-million shy and that’s why he’s retiring.

♦ A tax accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. “Doctor, I just can’t get to sleep at night.”
“Have you tried counting sheep?” Read More

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The Unknown Tax Comic – Christmas Edition

♦ Nobody likes taxes, but they’ve been around forever. Taxes date back all the way back to the year one, when baby Jesus was visited by two wise men and an IRS agent, who demanded half the family’s frankincense.”

♦ What do cannibal tax accountants do at their Office Christmas Dinner?
Toast their clients.

♦ What is Father Christmas’s tax status?
Elf-employed.

♦ How does Santa’s tax accountant value his sleigh?
Net PRESENT Value. Read More

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