♦ A fool and his money are soon parted. The rest of us wait until income tax time.
♦ Public Accounting is the only profession where you have many engagements going on, yet no one is getting married! – Peter J. Scalise, Practice Leader, Federal Credits & Incentives, Prager Metis CPAs
♦ Did you hear about the cannibal Tax Accountant? She charges an arm and a leg.
♦ An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. “Doctor, I just can’t get to sleep at night.”
“Have you tried counting sheep?”
“That’s the problem – I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it.”
♦ Tax Payer to the Grim Reaper: “WOW! You scared me! For a moment I thought you were the Tax Man!”
♦ A taxpayer received a strongly worded “second notice” that his taxes were overdue. Hastening to the collector’s office, he paid his bill, saying apologetically that he had overlooked the first notice. “Oh,” confided the collector with a smile, “we don’t send out first notices. We have found that the second notices are more effective.”
♦ Golf is a lot like taxes. You drive hard to get to the green and then wind up in the hole.