Each year during tax season I post some of my favorite tax quotes and tax humor on TaxConnections. Enjoy!
♦ “It’s fitting that April 14 is National Pecan Day because today, we recognize nuts. And tomorrow, on April 15, we pay our taxes to support them.” – Craig Ferguson
♦ “Tax day is the day that ordinary Americans send their money to Washington, D.C., and wealthy Americans send their money to the Cayman Islands.” –Jimmy Kimmel
♦ Tax Day… A Procrastinators worst nightmare.
♦ Can I pay more taxes than I owe, because it’s not enough and the politicians can spend it better than me?… Said no person ever.
♦ Most of us treat the Internal Revenue Service as if it were an ancient and powerful god. We pay tribute through payroll deduction. We perform the annual ritual of the tax forms. We bring forth sacrifices and homage on its chosen day of April 15. We dread provoking its wrath. Jim Gallagher ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH
♦ When you know the right people at the post office, it can be April 15 whenever you want (Phil DeFalco)
♦ If you’re confused by something on the tax form, just write “Huh?” (John Fodera)
♦ A tax accountant is walking along the beach (also, not the joke) and he finds an old lamp. He picks it up, rubs it and of course, a genie appears. The genie says “I am the most powerful genie that has ever lived. I can do great and wonderful things and I can grant you your dearest wish. But only one.” Well, this accountant is a deeply caring individual. He pulls out a map of the Mediterranean area and says, “My dearest wish is that you solve the Arab-Israeli conflict in the Middle East. The genie strokes his beard and looks worried. “Oh dear, ” he says , staring at the map. “That’s a tough one. Those people have been fighting for eons. No one has been able to come up with a successful solution. I’m not sure if I could do any better. You should probably make another wish.” The accountant is understanding and says, “All right. Listen, the IRS has asked me to re-design their 1040 form so that everyone can understand it. Can you help me with that?” There’s a long silence and finally the genie says, “Let’s have another look at that map.”
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