Each year during tax season I post some of my favorite tax quotes and tax humor on TaxConnections. Enjoy!
♦ Did you hear about the cannibal Tax Accountant? She charges an arm and a leg.
♦ A penny saved is a government oversight.
♦ Making out your own income tax return is something like a do-it-yourself mugging.
♦ A harp is a piano after taxes
♦ A certain tax lawyer was quite wealthy and had a summer house in the country, to which he retreated for several weeks of the year. Each summer, the lawyer would invite a different friend of his to spend a week or two up at this place, which happened to be in a backwoods section of Maine. On one particular occasion, he invited a Czech friend to stay with him. The friend, eager to get a freebie off a lawyer, agreed. Well, they had a splendid time in the country, rising early and living in the great outdoors. Early one morning, the lawyer and his Czech companion went out to pick berries for their morning breakfast. As they went around the berry patch, gathering blueberries and raspberries in tremendous quantities, along came two huge bears, a male and a female. The lawyer, seeing the two bears, immediately dashed for cover. His friend, though, wasn’t so lucky, and the male bear reached him and swallowed him whole.
The lawyer ran back to his Mercedes, tore into town as fast has he could, and got the local backwoods sheriff. The sheriff grabbed his shotgun and dashed back to the berry patch with the lawyer. Sure enough, the two bears were still there.
“He’s in ‘that one!” cried the lawyer, pointing to the male, while visions of lawsuits from his friend’s family danced in his head.
He just had to save his friend. The sheriff looked at the bears, and without batting an eye, leveled his gun, took careful aim, and shot the female.
“Whatdya do that for!” exclaimed the lawyer, “I said he was in the other!”
“Exactly,” replied the sheriff, “and would you believe a tax lawyer who told you that the Czech was in the male?”
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Robert E. McKenzie is a partner of the law firm of Arnstein & Lehr LLP of Chicago, Illinois, concentrating his practice in representation before the Internal Revenue Service and state agencies. He has lectured extensively on the subject of taxation. He has presented courses before thousands of CPA’s, attorneys and enrolled agents nationwide. He has made numerous media appearances including Dateline NBC and The ABC Nightly News. Prior to entering private practice, Mr. McKenzie was employed by the Internal Revenue Service, Collection Division, in Chicago, Illinois. Since entering private practice, he has dedicated a major portion of his time to representation before the IRS. From 2009 to 2011, Mr. McKenzie was a member of the IRS Advisory Council, which advises IRS management. Mr. McKenzie serves on Arnstein & Lehr’s Executive Committee.
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