♦ The best things in life are free – plus tax, of course.
♦ A lot of people still have the first dollar they ever made – Uncle Sam has all the others.
♦ “When it comes to taxes, there are two types of people. There are those that get it done early, also known as psychopaths, and then the rest of us.” –Jimmy Kimmel
♦ An estate & trust lawyer was reading the will of a rich man to the people mentioned in the will: “To you, my loving wife Rose, who stood by me in rough times, as well as good, I leave the house and two million dollars.” The lawyer continued, “To my daughter Jessica, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business going, I leave the yacht, the business and one million dollars.” The lawyer concluded, “And to my cousin Dan, who hated me, argued with me, and thought that I would never mention him in my will well you are wrong. “Hi, Dan!”
♦ An accountant dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter is there looking through the files and asking a few quick questions. “What sort of accountant were you?” The accountant replies, “I was a tax accountant.” St. Peter then asks, “What is your name?” The accountant gives his name and St. Peter finds his file. “Oh yes, we have been expecting you. You have reached your allotted time span.” The tax accountant said, “I do not understand how than can be? I am only 48 years old.” St. Peter looks again at the file and says, “Well, that is impossible.” The tax accountant then said “Why do you say that?” St. Peter said, “We have been looking over your time sheets and the hours you have charged your clients. By our reckoning, you must be at least 93 years old!”