♦ Every year, I include a piece of chicken in the envelope with my taxes. Not as a bribe, but a treat for the guy at the IRS who opens it. – Jimmy Kimmel

♦ Regis Philbin is back in primetime, hosting 11 new episodes of ‘Who Wants To Be a Millionaire.’ But because of Obama’s tax plan, it’s been re-titled to ‘Who Wants To Win Just Under $250,000.’ – Jimmy Fallon

♦ The U.S. Senate is considering a bill that would tax Botox. When Botox users heard this, they were horrified. Well, I think they were horrified. It’s difficult to tell. – Craig Ferguson

♦ Abracadabra, thus we learn the more you create, the less you earn. The less you earn, the more you’re given, the less you lead, the more you’re driven, the more destroyed, the more they feed, the more you pay, the more they need, the more you earn, the less you keep, And now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to take, if the tax-collector hasn’t got it before I wake.” – Ogden Nash

♦ Yesterday the IRS announced that obese Americans are entitled to certain tax breaks. Apparently, under the new rules, you’re allowed to claim two or more chins as dependents. – Conan O’Brien

♦ I want to find out who this FICA guy is and how come he’s taking so much of my money. – Professional Hockey Player

Next:  The Unknown Tax Comic – Part 7