♦ Nothing makes a person more modest about his income than to fill out a tax form. Courtesy of Barbara D’Amato

♦ Cutting the IRS budget by more than 5 percent in real terms makes as much sense as a hospital firing surgeons or a car dealer laying off salespeople when customers fill the showroom. David Cay Johnston, Reuters .1-17-12

♦ Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages. — H. L. Mencken

♦ The difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion is the thickness of a prison wall. –Denis Healey Read More

♦ In 1952, Joseph Nunan., IRS commissioner from 1944-47 was busted for evading taxes. It turned out that Nunan had won a $1,800 bet that Harry Truman would win the presidential election but failed to report his winnings to the IRS. Source: Chicago Tribune

♦ A dog who thinks he is a man’s best friend is a dog who obviously has never met a tax lawyer. Fran Lebowitz Social Studies, 1981

♦ What’s the difference between an Revenue Agent and a soldier? The soldier jumps to orders and the Revenue Agent jumps to conclusions.

♦ You know, gentlemen, that I do not owe any personal income tax. But nevertheless, I send a small check, now and then, to the IRS out of the kindness of my heart. David Rockefeller Read More

♦ It’s easy to find out who is going to become a tax collector. In the nursery, give all the kids lemons. The one who squeezes it dry is going to work for the IRS.

♦ What is the difference between the IRS and the mafia? Mafia is organized. Courtesy of Kurt Leetzow.

♦ When does a person decide to become a tax accountant? When she realizes she doesn’t have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.

♦ What does a tax attorney use for birth control? His personality.

♦ “And God said: “Let there be Satan, so people don’t blame everything on me. And let there Read More

Each year during tax season I forward some of my favorite tax quotes and tax humor.

♦ “Nobody likes taxes, but they’ve been around forever. Taxes date all the way back to the year one, when baby Jesus was visited by two wise men and an IRS agent, who demanded half the family’s frankincense.” -Jimmy Kimmel

♦ “The U.S. Senate is considering a bill that would tax Botox. When Botox users heard this, they were horrified. Well, I think they were horrified. It’s difficult to tell.” –Craig Ferguson

♦ Why does Santa have an accountant in the USA? So he can avoid Gift Taxes.

♦ NASA astronomers, using the Hubble space telescope, have discovered a giant black Read More