♦ A CPA goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shopkeeper shows him three identical parrots on a perch and says, “The parrot on the left costs $500.” “Why does that parrot cost so much?”, asks the CPA. “Well”, replies the owner, “it knows how to do complex audits.” “How much does the middle parrot cost?”, asks the CPA. “That one costs $1,000 because it can do everything the first one can do plus it knows how to prepare financial forecasts.” The startled CPA asks about the third parrot, to be told it costs $4,000. Needless to say, this begs the question, What can it do? To which the owner replies, “To be honest, I have never seen him do a darn thing, but the other two call him Senior Partner.”

♦ Tax law is a funny thing. I think it fair to say that most CPAs know something about the federal income tax; many if not most lawyers do not. –Bernard Wolfman

♦ I recently heard a CPA remark that the only accounting principle which the Internal Revenue Service regards as “generally accepted” is “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.” Although my friend overstates his case a bit — quite a bit — I cannot dismiss the thrust of his comment without some soul searching. –Sheldon S. Cohen

♦ . . . I’m continually amazed at the attitude people have toward their tax refund. There seems to be in most people’s minds — and I’m talking about intelligent, educated people who understand the tax system — a disconnect between the refund they get and the amount of taxes they pay. It’s like a lottery. People want that check! –Verenda Smith

♦ Is this not true—That in proportion to the value of their estates the extremely wealthy pay far less taxes than those of moderate means? Compare the amount paid by millionaires with the amount paid by ordinary citizens. I believe that in proportion to their estates they pay less than half as much as ordinary citizens, whereas they ought to pay more. Rutherford B. Hayes

♦ “Whoever controls the volume of money in any country is absolute master of all industry and commerce.” James A. Garfield