Each year during tax season I post some of my favorite tax quotes and tax humor.

♦ “When it comes to taxes, there are two types of people. There are those that get it done early, also known as psychopaths, and then the rest of us.” –Jimmy Kimmel

♦ “The healthcare reform bill now includes a tanning booth tax of 10 percent. You know what this means? This whole thing could be funded by the cast of ‘Jersey Shore.'” –Jay Leno

♦ Did you hear about the cannibal tax accountant? She charges an arm and a leg.

♦ There are only three predators that strike fear into the average man: a man-eating shark, a pack of wolves, and the IRS.

♦ Some people think that the IRS are thieves. This is nonsense. The IRS does not steal; it simply threatens you with dire consequences if you do not give them the money they want. This is not theft. It is extortion.

♦ With the current attacks by Congress on the IRS the following quote is particularly appropriate: “Nobody ever lost an election by demagoguing the IRS, which means they’re always under a high-powered microscope from ambitious politicians.” Kevin Drum, Mother Jones, 5-23-13

♦ Two junior doctors were involved in a fight in the hospital. A nurse had to pull them apart.

“What’s all this about?” asked the nurse angrily.
“It’s the Revenue Agent in C ward,” said one.
“He’s only got 2 days to live.”
“He had to be told.” said the second doctor.
“I know,” said the first, “but I wanted to be the one to tell him!”

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