TaxConnections -100+ Best Tax Jokes -Complimentary Gift

I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank? ― Milton Berle

A taxpayer was ordered in for an audit of his recent returns. He showed up with all his financial records, then sat for what seemed like hours watching the IRS agent pore over the numbers. Finally the agent looked up. “You must be a tremendous fan of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle,” he said. “Why would you say that?”, the taxpayer asked.  “You’ve made more brilliant deductions on your last three returns than Sherlock Holmes made in his entire career.”

A man on his deathbed called his friend and said,  “I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated.”   His friend asked, “And what, do you want me to do with your ashes?”    The man said, “Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the Internal Revenue Service.  Write on the envelope, “Now you have everything.”

A CPA goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shopkeeper shows him three identical parrots on a perch and says, “The parrot on the left costs $500.” “Why does that parrot cost so much?” asks the CPA. “Well” replies the owner, “It knows how to do complex tax audits.” “How much does the middle parrot cost?” asks the CPA. “That one costs $1,000 because it can do everything the first one can do plus it knows how to prepare financial forecasts.” The startled CPA asks about the third parrot only to be told it costs $4,000. Needless to say, the CPA asks the question “ What can this parrot do?” To which the owner replies, “To be honest, I have never seen him do a darn thing, but the other two call him Senior Partner.”

 

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