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A Collection… The Humorous Side of Tax… (14)

♦ Each year on tax day I like to remember a Charles Schultz quote from the Peanuts comic strip: “No problem is so big or so complicated it can’t be run away from.”

♦ When it comes to finances, remember that there are no withholding taxes on the wages of sin. Mae West

♦ Every year around April 15 Americans have a rendezvous with debt.

♦ The client went to the tax preparer and said, I filed my taxes electronically to speed things up, and it worked. I got an audit letter in half the normal time.

♦ On April 15th you count your blessings . . . and then send them to Washington.

♦ There was a time when you saved up for your old age; now you save up for April 15th.

♦ The shorter the time to April 15, the longer the face of the taxpayer.

♦ A tax preparer, uncertain as to whether a client’s wife was entitled to an additional exemption for being sixty five years of age, sent the husband an e mail requesting the information. The next day he got an answer back: My wife says she is not 65, nor will she ever be!

♦ The Congress will push me to raise taxes and I’ll say no, and they’ll push, and I’ll say no, and they’ll push again. And I’ll say to them, read my lips, no new taxes. George H.W. Bush

♦ A taxpayer is someone who works for the federal government, but who doesn’t have to take a civil service examination. Ronald Reagan

♦ “The current tax code is a daily mugging” Ronald Reagan

♦ I have no intention of raising taxes. – Bill Clinton

♦ I must be the only person in America that every time — I pay the maximum tax rates — every time I sign that tax form, I smile. I thank God I live in a country that gave me a chance to make the money I do.” Bill Clinton

♦ “The IRS now says you can deduct weight loss plans off your taxes. You can write it off because the government has officially declared obesity a disease. And it’s a disease, you can deduct medical expenses. That shows what a difference an administration can make. See under Bush, obesity is a disease. Under Clinton it was just sexy.” Jay Leno

♦ “President Obama has announced a task force to review the tax codes. He’s concerned there are too many loopholes and too many people manipulating the system to avoid paying taxes. And that’s just in his administration.” –Jay Leno

♦ I can make a firm pledge, under my plan, no family making less than $250,000 a year will see any form of tax increase. Not your income tax, not your payroll tax, not your capital gains taxes, not any of your taxes.

♦ “Regis Philbin’s back in primetime, hosting 11 new episodes of ‘Who Wants To Be a Millionaire.’ But because of Obama’s tax plan, it’s been re-titled ‘Who Wants To Win Just Under $250,000.'” –Jimmy Fallon

♦ “Tomorrow is the day to mail in your tax returns, which means tonight is the night to start making fake receipts.” -Jimmy Kimmel


Robert E. McKenzie is a partner of the law firm of Arnstein & Lehr LLP of Chicago, Illinois, concentrating his practice in representation before the Internal Revenue Service and state agencies. He has lectured extensively on the subject of taxation. He has presented courses before thousands of CPA’s, attorneys and enrolled agents nationwide. He has made numerous media appearances including Dateline NBC and The ABC Nightly News. Prior to entering private practice, Mr. McKenzie was employed by the Internal Revenue Service, Collection Division, in Chicago, Illinois. Since entering private practice, he has dedicated a major portion of his time to representation before the IRS. From 2009 to 2011, Mr. McKenzie was a member of the IRS Advisory Council, which advises IRS management. Mr. McKenzie serves on Arnstein & Lehr’s Executive Committee.

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