That is horrible news. The bottom line is YES under the right circumstances you can get penalty abatement relief. Check out this post about IRS penalties -> www.johnrdundon.com/navigating-the-shoals-of-irs-penalties-part-1/ <- this is the first of a 6 part series I will be coming out with on your question.

You may be entitled to "First Time Abate" which is a once in a lifetime Get Out of Jail Free card. Call IRS at the phone number one the bill and ask. You can also make a reasonable cause argument (and save First Time Abate for another time.) You would have to provide an explanation that establishes that the you exercised ordinary business care and prudence but was, nevertheless, unable to comply within the prescribed time. Your wife dying would count unless the length of time between the due date and filing date was really excessive.